A Lonely Place
I get that not everyone who reads this will have a connection to Christianity or the Bible. If you are such a one, I hope that you will still read this with openness. As we say in Black Church, take the meat and leave the bones.
SCENE: Black Church #iykyk
Organ music plays while the “move of the Spirit” passes and people return to seated positions. Ushers were aided by nearby folks attending to the “slain in Spirit”. Fans were waved to cool worshippers ignited by the Holy Ghost to speak in tongues. It was, indeed, a high time in the Lordt. A rousing choir selection complete with Praise Dancers and wild, yet oddly coordinated, hand motions from the Choir Leader led the sections through 2 encores before the Organist got the nod that it was time to settle folks down. It was time for: The Word. The Pastor approaches the lectern, quietly humming as the room settles. After a pause, the Pastor begins:
PASTOR: Praise God. If you would allow that wonderful selection to serve as the prayer and invocation for this service, I’m going to try not to be here before you too long. I will ask you to open your Bibles to two scriptures – both found in the New Testament, the third Gospel. That would be the Gospel of… Luke. The Physician. The Doctor. The first passage is in the 5th Chapter, beginning around verse 12 and ending with verse Sssssix-teeeeen. Put your thumb there and flip a page or two backwards to Chapter 4 verses 1 through 13. We will read this doctor giving his account of two events performed by the GREAT Physician – Jeeeeeeezhussssss. How many here today know Jesus as a healer? Please rest upon your feet as I read the passage aloud. The passage reads,
“While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him. Then Jesus ordered him, “Don’t tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.” Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
I asked if anyone here today knows Jesus as a healer. I know that there’s at least one. But I want to draw your attention, today, to Jesus and what he did. I’m not speaking about the healing of the Leper, although that is something to be noted. I remember when I was young in my faith – zealous for the things of God. To be like Him. I wanted that power to perform signs and miracles. That power to move mountains. That power to chase demons and heal sickness. I wanted to be of use to God. For a long time, I didn’t know how to do that. I’m forever grateful for noticing this line of the story. It’s almost said as an afterthought: “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray.” It says he OFF-TEN with-DREW to: lonely places – to pray.
I believe as a church we do a disservice when we speak about Jesus, only focusing on his divine nature, when speaking of the things He did like feeding multitudes and healing lepers. Jesus was also a person. Notwithstanding his supernatural connection to God, Jesus (at least the human part) needed some alone time. Have you ever worked with the public? People can be exhausting on many levels.
The passage tells us that going to a lonely place was something Jesus did often. I have to imagine it was voluntarily. It wasn’t something I did willingly, or even knowingly, at first. I had a total lack of understanding of what it meant. Old folks referred to it as practicing “closet” religion. I didn’t know about that. I didn’t know what to do after I “shut the closet door to pray.” So many questions… how long was I supposed to be in there? That sounded terrible to me, as in not fun. My brain and personality strongly resist that which doesn’t ring as fun to us pretty quickly. I know how immature that can sound even considering the rumor that Holy Ghost parties don’t stop. But for me, not fun could mean any number of things from boring to time consuming or tedious to scary. Underneath my pile of resistance to the lonely places was my fear of being alone.
Because I primarily found my identity in the relationships I held (wife, friend, mother, daughter), no relationships meant, on some level to me, that there was no me. Choices, time, and circumstances led me to a very lonely place, for sure. I found myself in a position where the significant relationships I held and considered pillars that supported my life, materially or emotionally, were either gone or in shambles. I had people around me, but not anyone that I didn’t believe would judge me. Not many who didn’t yet still need me to “be” and “do” for them in spite of my low state. Not anyone I felt would understand or care about the profound inner loneliness I felt. How do you give when you’re empty?
Simple. You can’t. This is why Jesus’s example of often withdrawing to lonely places to pray is so powerful. He who was 100% God was also 100% human. A 100% human who had a full range of emotions that included: tired, stressed, sad, burned out, pissed off, broken hearted, or just not feelin’ it on any given day. Jesus knew the transformative power of the lonely place. He knew the lonely place was the secret place of the Most High. Jesus knew that the lonely place is where God gives you beauty for ashes. It’s where, in our weakness, the strength of God – the power of God in us, is made perfect. It’s where we empty it all out that we might be filled, refreshed, and renewed.
Let’s get the passage your thumb marked, Luke 4: 1-13, and read:
Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted[a] by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry. The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.” The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.
AND IF ANY OF US, with heavenly or holy ambitions, are going to be of any earthly good to God or each other then these are needful lessons to learn. We cannot be afraid to be in the lonely place.
Lonely places are also where we get prepared for the work of God that lay ahead of us. Before Jesus was greeted by the dove that descended from Heaven, he spent 40 days in a lonely place enduring temptation of every kind. Without food. Without sustenance. Without anything to nourish his physical body. Before he fed the hungry, he was hungry. Hangry may have been the better word there, but I’m no theologian. I have to tell you, if I start my morning too early and skip breakfast, the person who makes me late for lunch may meet a not-so-gracious me.
After sitting with that passage, I had to ask myself if I would be able to, when I am feeling deprived, forego my natural desire and means to meet those wants and needs. First of all, Jesus was ‘led’ there. Can I follow God? Can I follow God when it’s someplace different or scary for me? How do I handle it when I get there? When I want to soothe my emotions with junk food or none of your business, can I remember that this body is the temple of God and bought with a price? When I’m met with opportunities for advancement or notoriety that call for allegiance to an ideal or authority contrary to my source and sustainer can I remember who really owns it all any way and that what’s for me will be for me at the appointed time and not before? If someone does not recognize my gifts or talents, my authority – if I feel like I’m not getting something that I deserve – so I become tempted to “prove” why I should have… should be… should get. Can I be content right now?
We learn these answers in this space of seeming isolation. It is a trial of our self-denial. Often when we experience denial it is because of something that is beyond our control to resolve or our ability to get. That is not self-denial. That’s just denial. I’m also not talking about the times we deny ourselves opportunities because they seem out of reach for who we believe we are now. The self-denial that I speak of and is proven in the lonely place is: when you have the desire and ability to take what’s been refused yet restrain your appetite. When you have the desire and ability to punish or avenge but forgive. When you have the desire and ability to get the credit and notoriety for pulling off what no one else was willing or able to do, but content yourself with anonymity.
During those 40 days Jesus was alone. He was confronted with all of his natural human desires and understood, at least by the responses He gave, that the external things, the temporal or temporary things are not what sustains that which is internal and eternal. The lonely place is a crucible of refinement where we learn what truly feeds us and gives us strength. We learn what is truly valuable and how to value those things more. It teaches us what we are made of and made for. We learn that who we are as God’s people is a matter of record in Heavenly places and we don’t have anything to prove to anyone for any reason at any time. We learn our limitations in the lonely place and come out knowing somehow those limitations did not cause us to miss a thing that we believed we would.
AND IF ANY OF US, with heavenly or holy ambitions, are going to be of any earthly good to God or each other then these are needful lessons to learn. We cannot be afraid to be in the lonely place. Fear of being alone in the natural will have us spending a whole lot of time with people we can’t stand or aren’t good for us. Fear of being alone will only lead us to compromise ourselves. Being able to live a life without compromise is only able to happen when we are able to tell ourselves “No.” I don’t always do that so easily. Especially when it comes to denying myself something I consider “good.” Our sense of “good” is conflated with that which also gives us pleasure. In our brain’s, the chemicals fire the same way whether we’re getting pleasure from kindness, cruelty, exercise, food, etc. It’s why some people can laugh while inflicting pain. Have you ever told a story recounting how you “told somebody off” and felt glad while you were telling it, even if not while you were doing it? We need to be able to deny that part of ourselves that derives enjoyment or pleasure from that which is neither healthy nor helpful. The lonely place reveals to us what those things are. It reveals us to us, and we can begin to understand.
Is there left any wonder why Jesus withdrew to lonely places to pray? It’s where it all began. It’s where the mission call is received. It’s where we go to get filled. It’s where we get revived. It’s where we can go to be refreshed in our Spirit. There we learn the sufficiency of God’s grace, the depth of his compassion and mercy, and that nothing… neither death, nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God.
We can be in a room with any number of people and feel like the only person on earth because we have no sense of connection. We can be surrounded by people who love and care for us but not be able to perceive any of it because our definition of love: the way we perceive and practice it, is limited. All that we know about ourselves is what we’ve learned from what others, our circumstances, and choices reflect back to us.
That lonely place can be considered a “spiritual” deprivation chamber. It closes us off to the clamor of life. And we don’t have to wait until life forces us there. We don’t only need to go when we are led by God, either. We should do, as Jesus did, and withdraw there often. It is a space that we can find all on our own, voluntarily. We can retreat to that quiet space within ourselves to hear, see, and understand fully – and not just in part. A thing I hope to never cease to be amazed about is that when I finally submit to going, I find quickly that I’m not there alone. God was already waiting for me.
